This is when the world will end

12May08

What the? A sequel to the cult film Donnie Darko?! I almost peed myself out of excitement … but now I’m glad I didn’t (I would have ruined a perfectly good pair of pants). This is NOT good news.

Donnie Darko, directed by Richard Kelly, is one of my favorite films of all time. I fell in love with Donnie Darko (and Jake Gyllenhaal—that’s right, he was Donnie Darko first, not that Brokeback Mountain guy). There’s just so much to that movie, and you could talk about its endless possibilities and meanings forever. Plus, great quotes. Except for the one by Frank (can you say, creep-y?), “Why are you wearing that stupid mansuit?” That had absolutely no point. You have to admit, it was stupid.

Okay, this might not be so bad, but the problem—and worst part—is, Richard Kelly is having nothing to do with it. Yeah, you heard me. Chris Fischer (Nightstalker, Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders) will direct the sequel, ew. Kelly apparently just wasn’t interested in doing a sequel himself. According to Slashfilm.com, “Producers have spoken to Richard Kelly about the project but he is not involved in any official capacity at this stage.” Frankly (no pun intended), I don’t blame him. Some things are perfect and cherished in your memory the way they are, and they don’t need a sequel. In fact, sometimes sequels are a very bad thing and stain those fond memories of yours forever. And there’s something ugly awakening deep in the pit of my stomach that tells me this is going to be one of those sequels.

Daviegh Chase will reprise her role as Samantha Darko, and Ed Westwic, Briana Evigan, and Justin Chatwin (whoever the hell they are) are reported to also be in the movie. This is the best summary of the film I’ve found thus far:

This next chapter of the Darko saga picks up with Samantha, Donnie’s younger sister, who, in the wake of his death, has found herself at 17 with a broken family, mired in feelings of insignificance, and with no aspirations for the future. The archetypal character study and genre mixing of Donnie Darko is reprised, but with a fresh spin on the roles within the Tangent Universe that warrants the telling of this darker, more jaded tale of tragedy, second chances, sacrifice and rebirth.

The concept does sound creepy. I mean, first her brother and now Sam? It has that what-the-hell-is-so-special-about-us flair, that question that never gets answered and just sends chills up your spine. Very Silent Hill-ish—you know, how everything traces back to that damned town and a lot of the characters are interconnected?

Anyway, Chud.com reports that “Simon Crowe of Velvet Octopus … says, Donnie’s not in [the new film] but there are meteorites and rabbits.” … SIGH.

And they couldn’t have picked a lamer name. S. Darko? That’s it? Are you kidding me? Filming is supposed to start May 18. God help us. The sky will open up and the only thing that will be left will be us, and our memories … and him: Chris Fischer. Why? Why ruin or cheapen my beloved Donnie Darko?! Damnit, Kelly, why were you okay with this? If this turns out horribly … I swear.

You mean the future about this movie? Probably find a means of time travel and kill Richard Kelly before he could sign off on this.

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