Three claws, you’re out, bub


He’s the best at what he does, and what he does best isn’t very good.

Even before its May 1 release, X-Men Origins: Wolverine had already gained an unfavorable reputation similar to Brett Ratner’s unpopular X-Men 3: The Last Stand. Accompanied by various ill omens, the movie leaked onto the internet and left many fans with an unpleasant and disappointing aftertaste. However, disappointing seems to be the best word to describe the latest X-Men flick. While the Gavin Hood-directed Wolverine doesn’t fall into all of the same traps as X-men 3, it doesn’t redeem or at all improve on the trilogy’s final film, either.

The movie begins with the reveal of a sicky James Howlett’s mutant powers, followed by an opening credit montage that nicely fuses together Logan and Victor Creed’s (aka Sabretooth) war experience. After their execution by firing squad fails to actually, well, execute them, the two are visited by none other than William Stryker. The colonel offers them an opportunity to stop running and serve their country in the process. Soon Logan and Victor earn a spot on a mutant-powered team, but it doesn’t take long before the pair splits and Logan adopts a new life by Silverfox’s side. That is, until Sabretooth interferes, sparking Logan’s desire for revenge that ultimately leads to his participation in the Weapon X project.

Apparently everyone loves the smell of testosterone in the morning, because this movie has a lot of it.

The movie runs well on action and special effects, but unfortunately there are dozens of problems along the way, too. For a film supposedly about Wolverine’s true origins, things turn sour from the beginning when Victor and Logan discover they are brothers. Uh, what? Not to mention the film completely skips why Wolverine abandons his birth name for Logan in the first place. Even if you can swallow the already skewered history, it’s a little harder to accept the presence of many of the other mutants who stumble into Wolverine’s path.

Continuity-wise, by the end of the movie most of the cast should have had their memories wiped, also. Wolverine seems to be less origins and more of an extension on the Wolverine/Stryker relationship from X-Men 2. For a movie that lasts nearly two hours long, it feels surprisingly short. The plot runs on such a linear, set course that refuses to spend time on character development or interaction. Fights follow fights with more eye-pleasing choreography, but the movie leaves you unfulfilled by its stale mediocrity.

Deadpool doesnt have much of a chance to impress before the lame Weapon XI.

Deadpool doesn't have much of a chance to impress before he becomes the lame Weapon XI.

Some characters—like Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber) and Gambit (Taylor Kitsch)—are entertaining and believable, but others often inspire cringe-worthy moments. Hugh Jackman repeatedly unleashes a ridiculously ferocious berserk roar that makes Bale’s Bat-voice look charming in comparison. The worst part of Wolverine, however, ties to Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds). Whoever thought it was a good idea to shut up the Merc with a Mouth obviously doesn’t understand the character. In fact, the movie’s rendition of Wade Wilson brings a whole new level of mutilation to Deadpool, and this one’s a whole lot more painful than anything the Merc has endured before.

Disappointing matches up with mediocre, and nothing shines in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Wolverine has been overplayed in the X-Men movies, and Gavin Hood’s contribution fails to add any new flavors. The other characters sum up as most of the movie’s rewarding qualities, which don’t mount too high overall. The film doesn’t bother exploring much humor or character moments, although it doesn’t skimp on the action. However, the movie turns out dry and far from engaging, and even Wolverine’s famous line executes like a stale tagline. The result makes Wolverine a less exciting ride than X-Men 3, but by no means as horrible—which may actually be a bad thing, because Wolverine doesn’t seem to have any sort of memorable impact whatsoever.

Wolverine and Gambit meet ... early.

Wolverine meets Gambit ... early.

8 Responses to “Three claws, you’re out, bub”

  1. he is sexy!

  2. 2 WITA

    Which of the testosterone-fueled men are you referring to? The angsty Wolverine? Or perhaps the post-surgery Deadpool? Oh, don’t tell me. Blob, right?

  3. 3 Orionsaint

    Great review Steph. You pretty much nailed it. The move has alreadt made 35 million on Friday alone. This movie could make some serious numbers. So this means that either people are ignoring the reviews, everyone loves Wolverine or people are just desperate Summer movies.

  4. 4 Matt

    The fact that there’s probly no character development for Deadpool, makes me sad, especially after Hulk vs. Wolverine. Going to see it Sunday, and my hopes just took a nose dive :-(.

    WITA Crusher of childhood dreams…everyday πŸ˜‰

  5. 5 xdoolittlex

    Thank you for completely hating this movie. From Wolverine’s irritating self control to the ridiculous exchange with Blob (“Did you call me ‘Blob?!'”), XMO:W made ill. So so bad.

  6. 6 WITA

    @Ryan I think they’re just going because it’s Wolverine and an action movie.

    @Matt Hey, the movie crushes childhood dreams, not me. And trust me, Deadpool wasn’t Deadpool. At all. You’ll see, and then cry.

    @Jason You know, I thought the whole point of a berserker rage was to go berserk, not just growl really loudly. πŸ˜›

  7. 7 Matt

    Ok, so I just saw it and it wasn’t as bad as all you hating people think it is, as an action movie it was good, it did have more character development then all of Jason Statham’s action movies combined. The action made more sense and was funner to watch then the latest Bond flick, and hey Gambit, Pre-Weapon XI Wade Wilson, and Emma Frost make a fun mutant portfolio.

    That said I didn’t mind the info that Sabertooth was all hermonos with Logan, gives their conflict more of a concrete non-comic book world sense to it.

    I have seriously mixed feelings about Weapon XI/Deadpool, not the version we all know and love, which does make me sad, but the Mutant Superweapon was fun to watch and completely badass.

  8. 8 WITA

    Matt, I didn’t think Wolverine was particularly bad—I just didn’t think it was particularly good, either.

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